


Things (and People) Better Left in the Dark

by lavvender_cryptid



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Depression, F/F, F/M, Gen, Humanstuck, Hypomania, It is complicated, Panic Attacks, and, and a couple, but in general theres a lot off talk abt, but trolls are like. demons, eventually, humanstuck???, ill put content warnings as they pop up, itll make sense in the end i promisE, scenes, they kinda turn into trolls in the Void??
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:21:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25141564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavvender_cryptid/pseuds/lavvender_cryptid
Summary: "The trees were oh so tall, she thought. Looking up you couldn’t see their tops, only branches and leaves and the occasional squirrel running across. The light leaking out from the clearing lit it up emerald and Aradia thought of Jade. There was a blurry tug on her sleeve and she saw Sollux, saying something about leaving soon.Then It happened. "I am not sorry for the long and pretentious title(s).content warning to pop up as they occur, in the notes before each chapter they are relevant to. check the additional tags for general content warnings.
Relationships: Jade Harley/Aradia Megido, Sollux Captor/Aradia Megido, ill add em if they get more screentime, theres more but not as prominent
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	1. Say it Again, With Feeling This Time

**Author's Note:**

> hey! CONTENT WARNING. yup, chapter one. the warning is: DEPRESSION. to be more specific, the symptoms would align most with Persistent Depressive Disorder (Dysthymia).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! CONTENT WARNING. yup, chapter one. the warning is: DEPRESSION. to be more specific, the symptoms would align most with Persistent Depressive Disorder (Dysthymia).

Boredom. Deep, painful, acute boredom. That was what the feeling was, Aradia thought, rolling over onto her side to see her phone screen more comfortably. The absence of anything interesting to do, or think. School was over but it felt just the same, except she wasn’t doing math anymore. 

All she could do was scroll through her phone. Mindlessly. Aimlessly. Scroll. Like. Repost. Scroll. It was so dull _.  _ It had never been that dull before. But she couldn’t bring herself to muster a response back to the group chat, and she couldn’t bring herself to get up and do something. For months. First it was only one, and she could pretend it would be fine once summer was over. Then it was two, then three.

She had missed dragging Sollux to shows with bands he pretended not to like until they were dancing and he was smiling even though he’d complain on the way home about how much his feet hurt. She had missed DnD night with Terezi and Tavros and Vriska, and even Eridan and Nepeta sometimes. She had missed staying up until three in the morning hanging out with Terezi and Jade. She had missed talking about bones with Dave for hours at a time until Karkat got annoyed. She  _ had _ missed her friends. But she wasn’t sure she even wanted to talk to them anymore. 

The only person she was talking to was Terezi, and that was because Terezi wouldn’t let her get away with ignoring her. 

Speaking of Terezi, Aradia’s phone buzzed with a notification from her. 

gallowsCalibrator: H3Y

gallowsCalibrator: 4R4D14

gallowsCalibrator: W4NN4 COM3 OV3R?

gallowsCalibrator: W3 C4N PL4Y TH4T G4M3 YOU L1K3 

gallowsCalibrator: TH3 ON3 W1TH TH3 HORS3S

apocalypseArisen: red dead redemption?

apocalypseArisen: thanks f0r asking but i’m busy

gallowsCalibrator: BUSY DO1NG WH4T?

gallowsCalibrator: TH1NK1NG OF 4 W4Y TO T3XT 3QU1S B4CK W1THOUGHT HURT1NG H1S F33L1NGS?

gallowsCalibrator: WH1CH YOU SHOULDNT 3V3N H4V3 TO DO 4ND 1T W4S 4 D1CK MOV3 OF H1M TO DUMP 4LL TH4T SH1T ON YOU NOW OF 4LL T1M3S

gallowsCalibrator: COM3 ON 4R4D14 

gallowsCalibrator: 1 KNOW YOU H4V3NT L3FT YOUR HOUS3 1N MONTHS

apocalypseArisen: damara w0n’t kn0w where i am

gallowsCalibrator: SO S3ND H3R 4 T3XT!

gallowsCalibrator: 1TS NOT L1K3 W3 L1V3 1N TH3 D4RK 4G3S

apocalypseArisen: it kind 0f feels like it is, th0ugh 

apocalypseArisen: but fine. ill c0me 0ver

And so Aradia found herself walking over to Terezi’s house when she could have been wallowing in self pity. 

Okay, maybe it was a good thing she was seeing Terezi. At least it was impossible to be bored around her. 

Upon ringing the doorbell, the door swung open to reveal a grinning Terezi, dyed red hair clashing in a way that was just so wonderfully Terezi against neon green arm warmers that just jumped out and demanded to be seen. Aradia smiled. 

“Hi.”

“Well what are you waiting for? Come on in,” Terezi said, ushering her inside and closing the door.

Terezi was great. Great, and nosy. Aradia had denied her information about her relationship status three times before she gave up and started asking about DnD night. 

“So I was thinking about continuing it in a separate group chat, so we don’t bother the others,” Terezi said. 

“You mean so the others don’t yell at us for clogging up the group chat again?”

“Well that too, but also so we don’t have to deal with them while we’re trying to save the imaginary world.” Terezi paused to take a drink of a fluorescent red soda that Aradia didn’t want to know the ingredients of. “Also this way you don’t have to talk to Equius, or Sollux until you have to.” 

Aradia sighed. “Thanks. I really can’t deal with them right now.”

Terezi shrugged. “Okay. I’m going to invite Jade over, she’ll want to play that horse game. Maybe we can have another sleepover party!”

That night was almost normal. Jade came over around seven, and they played Red Dead Redemption until Terezi got tired of it and suggested exploring the free play section of Steam. 

Aradia went home and didn’t feel bored. 

The next week, Terezi invited her over again. And again.

Maybe things were slowly going back to how they used to be, but still the only people Aradia saw on a regular basis were Terezi and Jade. Damara too, of course, but they lived together so she wasn’t sure that really counted. 

Then Terezi said what Aradia really didn’t want to hear.

“So are you ready to talk to Equius and Sollux?” The question felt like it was breaking down her door and screaming  _ DANGER _ . 

“Please, no. I really want to forget that entire mess.”

“You’re going to have to let Equius down somehow, eventually. Unless you’re actually into him- which I really doubt- and you know Sollux. He thinks you’re still pissed at him, or you aren’t answering him because you’re too busy having fun with your new boyfriend to talk to him.” 

Aradia already knew, he had texted her as much. She just didn’t want to talk to anyone. Maybe Sollux, but not about this. She figured Terezi wouldn’t take that as a valid answer though. But before Aradia could answer with something that maybe Terezi would like, she was back to talking. 

“Really the whole situation would be over if you just talked to them-  _ which you don’t have to yet-  _ but it would help. Equius has tried to explain that you haven’t even answered him yet but Sollux isn’t listening.”

“I don’t even get why he cares so much. We were never dating or anything.” Aradia picked at the carpet, avoiding looking at Terezi’s skeptical expression. “It’s just petty drama and I’m too tired to deal with it.”

“He was still your best friend, though. He feels like you’ve left him behind. Besides, this isn’t going to just be ‘petty drama’ when school starts back up again and our entire friend group has divided itself over this. Have you even been reading the arguments going down in the group chat? It’s like some kind of war.” 

Yes, she had been reading the arguments. They were the epitome of petty drama taken too far. 

“What about you and Vriska? You guys have had worse fights and still called it drama.”

“Me and Vriska also take breaks when it gets too far. We communicate. Healthily. Unlike a certain someone I know.”

“It’s not- I can communicate. I’m just so  _ tired, _ Terezi. Haven’t you ever felt like things were too much?”

“Yes, and I communicated that I needed a break. Come on, Aradia. If you just tell people what’s going on they’ll drop it.”

“If I talk to Sollux-  _ only Sollux, _ I am  _ not _ talking to Equius- will you leave me alone about this?”

Terezi grinned. “It’s a start.”

Aradia really didn’t want to talk to Sollux. Well, no. She wanted to talk to Sollux. Just not about this. He was acting like an idiot about it at first, and eventually she got too stressed to respond anymore. 

She composed a new message anyway. 

apocalypseArisen: hey

apocalypseArisen: i sh0uld pr0bably ap0l0gize

apocalypseArisen: i pr0mise i’m n0t mad anym0re

apocalypseArisen: just tired

apocalypseArisen: but it is kind 0f dumb that y0u actually think i like equius

apocalypseArisen: that guy is creepy as hell, and i stand by my previ0us incredulity that y0u think that

twinArmageddons: you actually re2ponded holy 2hiit

twinArmageddons: iin my defen2e iit’s not like ii had much iinformatiion to work wiith. after your agre22ive and 2u2pi2ious deniial you 2topped re2pondiing

apocalypseArisen: still

apocalypseArisen: equius? 

apocalypseArisen: seri0usly s0l? 

twinArmageddons: okay fiine you miight have a poiint. and i am glad to know you aren’t 2till mad

twinArmageddons: and ii gue22 iim al2o 2orry for blowiing up at you. that might have been out of liine

twinArmageddons: how’s tz? 2he told me you guy2 were hanging out

apocalypseArisen: she’s 0kay, i think 

apocalypseArisen: she’s acting the same as ever

apocalypseArisen: i’m pretty sure she just wants things to g0 back to n0rmal

twinArmageddons: wiill thiing2 ever go back to normal? not to be a karkat or anythiing but ii do mii22 you

apocalypseArisen: karkat w0uld hate y0u saying that, y0u know

apocalypseArisen: and maybe

apocalypseArisen: i d0nt know, it feels like an 0cean

apocalypseArisen: please d0nt tell terezi because she w0uld never let me forget saying this but n0 matter h0w much i l0athe her talking t0 me all the time i think it’s helping

twinArmageddons: bold of you to a22ume that tz doe2nt know that already. that2 probably why 2he2 doiing thii2, you know

twinArmageddons: but yeah ii know what you mean. ii gue22 ii ju2t wii2h when iit got liike that youd tell me iin2tead of fuckiing off who know2 where 

apocalypseArisen: i kn0w where 

apocalypseArisen: im s0rry, th0ugh

apocalypseArisen: i’ll try

twinArmageddons: thank you. you don’t have to apologiize

So talking to Sollux slid back into its place in her daily routine in between hanging out with Terezi and Jade; and virtual DnD night. They had scheduled a physical meeting at Tavros’ house once Vriska got back from the beach. 

From what Aradia could tell, that couldn’t come soon enough for Vriska. She complained for hours at a time about her mom and sister, and being stuck on the beach in the middle of nowhere with them. 

The only thing that was missing after that happened was a good concert or two, but Aradia didn’t really think she had the energy. For most of the things she was doing, she could just let the others lead without expending too much time or effort, and concerts required active participation. She wasn’t sure she could do that yet. However, all things considered she was still doing the best that she had in a long time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel the need to address the fact that there will be typing quirks even though at this point in time all the characters are fully human. it's because i wanted to. there's no colors, that wont start until later because Plot. they are *not* using trollian or pesterchum, and are using like. the texting app (idk what it is on android but to all yall iphone users thatd be imessage) and instagram DMs. mostly instagram DMs tho bc im writing these kids to be gen z idiots.


	2. Anger and Why Do We Have It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayo CONTENT WARNING: PANIC ATTACKS. 
> 
> stay safe buds !

twinArmageddons: hey aa the local band you really liike wiith the tentacle2 and 2hiit ii2 playiing a 2how in the der2e hiigh cleariing. and ii know iits poliicy to never 2ee the 2ame band twiice becau2e it “defeats the purp0se of disc0very” but iim pretty 2ure thiis doe2nt count for your tour of torture

twinArmageddons: iif you aren’t bu2y on thur2day let me know. 

apocalypseArisen: i am speechless

apocalypseArisen: you, s0llux capt0r, are v0luntarily 0ffering to see the h0rr0rterr0rs, v0luntarily 

apocalypseArisen: p0licy can wait 

apocalypseArisen: the wh0le p0int of the sh0w s0llux g00d music t0ur is t0 get y0u t0 listen t0 g00d music anyway

apocalypseArisen: als0 i am slightly hurt that y0u refer t0 it as a t0ur 0f t0rture

twinArmageddons: 2o that2 a ye2?

apocalypseArisen: yes that’s a yes

apocalypseArisen: we haven’t been t0 a c0ncert since last year 

twinArmageddons: thank god. ro2e and kanaya are al2o goiing, iill 2ee iif they want to 2hare a riide 

apocalypseArisen: thanks 

Aradia smiled. And for the first time since December, she felt it. Fully. It was three weeks since she’d first started talking to Sollux again, and the idea of seeing her favorite band again filled her with warmth. 

The drive to the show was long, but cheerful. Sollux had chosen the music because

“It’s my car. I’m driving, I’m choosing the music. Besides, we’re going to a concert for a band that everyone but me would sell their souls to, it’s only fair that you listen to shit I like before then.” 

There were minimal complaints from Rose and Kanaya, who had slid into the backseat and immediately proceeded to discuss some fashion project that Aradia didn’t know enough about to understand. Under any other circumstances, Aradia would have poked at him for being the one who had suggested going to the concert in the first place, and she knew it probably wouldn’t mess anything up, but she didn’t want to risk it tonight. 

So they listened to Sollux’s weird mixture of techno and evanescence. A twenty one pilots song came on once, but before she could comment on it he skipped it. 

They settled back into their old rhythm of conversation after not too long, laughing into the air, bouncing increasingly outlandish ideas off of each other. Aradia hadn’t realized that she really did miss being around her friends until now. Last week was weird and nebulous and stressful, but hopeful, maybe. She hadn’t wanted to get up to leave for the show at first, but now she was so, so glad that she did. 

The hour long drive to Derse High passed in moments, and they parked on the edge of the forest. The clearing was a mile or two from the school, and about a half hour’s walk, but it was worth the drive and walk to get there. They paid the “doorperson” (the name was more formality, and for lack of a better term to describe standing in an opening in the trees, taking money and trying to keep underage kids out of shows with alcohol. Aradia attempted to call them an arbiter of ID’s once but it hadn’t stuck) and flashed their drivers’ licenses before entering the clearing. It had been set up as an amphitheater back when summer camps still used the woods for a campground, and was near several smaller clearings with rotting picnic tables that were good for taking a break, or setting up merch tables. 

There wasn’t a restroom anymore, after an unfortunate arson accident, but Aradia had been in restrooms for punk venues before, in slightly larger towns, and it was honestly an improvement. No matter what Damara said, if the “experience” involved getting sick from who knows what airborne mold, Aradia was willing to sacrifice on the whole “experience” thing. 

The Derse High Clearing was an experience of its own, anyway. The music bounced off the trees and the boards surrounding the clearing, and the trees seemed to stretch into the very tops of the heavens and touch the stars. Maybe the stars could listen to the music through the trees. In the winter mornings it was foggy and full of mist, but at night it was clear as glass between the branches and colored lights cast a tint over the leaves and brambles. 

Aradia couldn’t believe that she hadn’t been here since _December._ She stared up at the sky and laughed, clear and loud. She probably looked crazy, but she didn’t care. She felt amazing- euphoric even- for a few minutes before it started again. The thoughts. 

_You didn’t come because you didn’t deserve to. You didn’t come because people would have more fun without you. You didn’t come because you were too scared to._

She stopped laughing, and stilled. 

“Everything good?” Sollux was frowning down at her. 

“Yeah, I’m just… It’s- It’s good to be here again. It’s also a little weird, though.” She laughed out the last few words. 

“Yeah, I guess. I’m sure everyone missed you, though. It was almost like you had died, the way you left.” He said it like it was a joke, but he looked away as he said “died” and didn’t look back until she assured him that she was very, very much alive, prodding his arm maybe a little harder than she meant to in order to prove so. 

Rose and Kanaya had left to “check out the merch tables” and an opener was playing fast and loud skater punk. They weren’t terrible, but even if they had been the audience at the front would still be dancing along. There was a small mosh pit forming, and Aradia grinned as she dragged Sollux towards it. As much as he complained about being sore after shows, he was always suspiciously compliant about participating. 

The Horrorterrors were amazing as per usual, angry and not afraid to scream about it. Aradia lost herself in the noise and let it take over, releasing her anger with theirs, and embracing the pure energy that filled her and bubbled up up up and out, touching the stars with the music. Aradia didn’t say anything when Sollux knew the lyrics to a song, but she’d grinned and he’d treated it just the same. 

Some people made their way over to say hey, but few conversations were made from it. That was okay, you didn’t need conversation to understand someone. You just needed to pay attention. Everything was going so well. It felt like how it used to be again, and she was at peace. 

The show ended and they decided to linger in the woods for a little longer, catching up with each other and exchanging stories about life. Rose and Kanaya were working on costumes for a community theater project, Sollux was working a summer job with his brother and hated it. Aradia told them she hadn’t been doing much of anything until now, but she had been hanging out with Terezi and Jade. Rose asked about Terezi, and expressed that she was happy that Aradia was taking the time to talk to people again. Aradia felt a pang of guilt but she buried it in laughter and sorry’s. 

The rest of the night was foggy and bled into itself, but she vaguely noticed Rose and Kanaya leaving, smiles on their faces and sweet goodbyes on their tongues. The trees were oh so tall, she thought. Looking up you couldn’t see their tops, only branches and leaves and the occasional squirrel running across. The light leaking out from the clearing lit it up emerald and Aradia thought of Jade. There was a blurry tug on her sleeve and she saw Sollux, saying something about leaving soon. 

Then _It_ happened. White hot pain spread from Aradia’s chest out through the tips of her fingers to the bottoms of her feet. She looked around in panic but the world was off- titled and wrong and flickering. Her vision blurred until she couldn’t see at all anymore. She couldn’t scream. She couldn’t think. She didn’t feel it when she fell to the ground, but she must have because she woke up with the scent of dirt obnoxiously apparent to her. 

She was still in the woods. She got up slowly, dusting herself off. She made her way back to the clearing, but nobody was there. The stage was deserted with no sign of a performance having happened the night before. She took out her phone, but it was dead. There went her only link to anyone else. 

At this, a flurry of thoughts tore through her brain, opening cabinets and drawers and throwing papers everywhere, ripped open walls and caving in floors. Fear froze her to her bones, working with the hot, erratic panic by inserting icy thoughts into the tornado in her mind. She felt as if she was falling, but the woods were still unmoving and silent. She had been left. She was alone and she had been abandoned, left on the forest floor. She screamed. It echoed through the trees and as it left her behind, still alone, she curled in on herself and cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and yeah this was an excuse for me to live through going to a concert even though all the shows within like the next year have been cancelled


	3. But It Had Just Started to Get Better

She must’ve stayed in that same place for hours, just crying and thinking and wondering why her friends would have possibly just left her. Why Sollux hadn’t woken her up, or dragged her back to the car, or called for help. The sun was already high in the sky when she’d woken, and now it had dipped back beneath the tree tops. 

The trees offered no consolation. In fact, they offered no noise at all. There was no creaking, no rustling in the wind. No bugs sung, no birds chirped, no frogs croaked. This revelation prompted her to look at the ground, but she didn’t find a single ant. Climbing the straight, tall, trees proved a futile effort. She couldn’t get much higher than three feet up before slipping and crashing to the ground. Just because it was futile didn’t necessarily mean it was useless, though, because ripping off unusually brittle patches of bark exposed rot. There were no bugs feeding on it. 

Where had everything gone? The forest had certainly been teeming with bugs the night before, even if they’d scared off most larger creatures. 

Aradia took one last look around the silent clearing before starting her way back to Derse High. The path seemed longer than normal, but she attributed it to her being alone this time. She had nobody to talk to. 

Her plan was to get into the school, charge her phone, and if she couldn’t charge her phone, spend the night so she didn’t have to walk home several hours, alone in the dark. She’d never been in the school during summer before, and when she arrived she was struck by how abandoned it looked. The LED sign out front advertised “well wishes for an amazing summer!!” to an audience of none. At least it looked like they paid for electricity over summer. 

She walked around back to the football field, jumped the fence, and tried the door to the gymnasium. It was unlocked. She walked across the peeling, plastic coated wood of the floor to the locker room door. This door was locked. Aradia had never learned to pick a lock, so she gave up after a minute or so of trying to force it and instead walked through the hallway the gym was attached to, hoping to find an unlocked room with a charger cable in it. She had no such luck until she tried the library, which had neglected to lock it’s upper level access doors. There was a charging station by the front desk, and Aradia plugged her phone in. It flashed the charging screen, and then powered off again. 

It was ten minutes or so before it powered on, and Aradia took that time to take stock of what she had. She’d lost her wallet, and her pockets were empty save for a pack of gum, some loose change, and her phone. It was still an agonizing wait. 

When the locked screen appeared, glowing and hopeful, she immediately grabbed it and opened her trollian, to see if she’d gotten any messages at all. There was one from Jade, a couple from Rose, and a whole essay from Terezi. She decided to respond to Terezi first. 

gallowsCalibrator: 4R4D14 YOU B3TT3R NOT B3 D34D 

gallowsCalibrator: 1F YOU D13 B3FOR3 M3 TH3N 1 C4NT R3PR3S3NT YOU 1N THE D34TH COURTS >:[

gallowsCalibrator: 4LSO 1T WOULD B3 A HORR1BL3 TH1NG B3C4US3 YOUR3 4 COOL P3RSON OR SOM3TH1NG

gallowsCalibrator: PL3AS3 T3XT M3 B4CK 44 1 DONT W4NT YOU TO B3 D34D

gallowsCalibrator: ROS3 4ND K4N4Y4 S41D TH3Y DONT KNOW WH4T H4PP3N3D 4FT3R TH3Y L3FT 4ND SOLLUX W4S 4BSOLUT3LY NO H3LP H3 D1DNT ANSW3R M3 4T 4LL

gallowsCalibrator: CONF1RM4T1ON TH4T YOUR3 AL1V3 WOULD B3 GR34T R1GHT 4BOUT NOW, YOU KNOW

gallowsCalibrator: FUCK 44 1 M1SS YOU

apocalypseArisen: im alive

apocalypseArisen: what the hell are y0u talking ab0ut

gallowsCalibrator: WH3R3 AR3 YOU???

apocalypseArisen: derse high

apocalypseArisen: i was actually w0ndering if y0u c0uld help me get h0me?

apocalypseArisen: why did y0u think i was dead?

gallowsCalibrator: B3C4US3 NOBODY’S S33N YOU S1NC3 L4ST N1GHT 4ND WH4T SOLLUX S41D M4K3S NO S3NS3

gallowsCalibrator: H1M 4ND ROS3 R3PORT3D YOU M1SSING NOT TOO LONG 4GO

gallowsCalibrator: M3 4ND J4D3 4R3 COM1NG BTW

gallowsCalibrator: SH3S R34LLY UPS3T

apocalypseArisen: 0h weird

apocalypseArisen: well n0, i think they just left me in the w00ds after i passed 0ut 0r s0mething

apocalypseArisen: maybe the lights went out and they c0uldn’t see me?

gallowsCalibrator: 1M DR1V1NG 4ND C4NT T4LK BUT YOU R34LLY N33D TO SP34K W1TH SOLLUX

apocalypseArisen: 0kay

apocalypseArisen: thank y0u

Aradia composed a quick message to Sollux ( terezi says i sh0uld talk t0 y0u ab0ut last night? i d0nt really kn0w what happened at all)  before checking on Jade

gardenGnostic: aradia i swear you better not be dead i will walk into the underworld and drag you out if i have to

gardenGnostic: oh!

gardenGnostic: nevermind terezi says youre alive so the underworld is safe from my wrath for today

gardenGnostic: what happened?? 

gardenGnostic: terezi says you passed out?

apocalypseArisen: yes

apocalypseArisen: im n0t c0mpletely sure what happened t0 be h0nest 

apocalypseArisen: i feel kind 0f weird, but im pretty sure that might just be fr0m sleeping in the f0rest

gardenGnostic: yeah that definitely sounds uncomfortable!!

gardenGnostic: if you do ever die though feel free to enlist my services to get you out of there!!!

apocalypseArisen: i shall keep that in mind, thank y0u

apocalypseArisen: see y0u s00n

gardenGnostic: see you!

  
  


tentacleTherapist: Hello I am just checking in to make sure that you are safe, you left after us and Sollux seems thoroughly confused as to your whereabouts.

tentacleTherapist: Sollux isn’t making any sense, if you are alive please answer to confirm that you’re okay.

tentacleTherapist: Also confirm what happened, if that’s possible.

tentacleTherapist: Terezi says you fell asleep in the forest. 

tentacleTherapist: I would like to exchange timelines once you get back, because Sollux and I went back to the forest this morning, and were unable to find you.

apocalypseArisen: 0h huh

apocalypseArisen: thats strange

apocalypseArisen: where in the f0rest did y0u l00k?

Rose didn’t respond, so Aradia went back to her conversation with Sollux. Inconveniently, he hadn’t responded either. She turned off her phone and looked up at the ceiling of the library, resting her head on the wall. The ceiling was gray and visibly old. Cobwebs had made homes in the highest corners of it, and stains from water damage painted dark, rippled lines across the wood paneling. 

The whole town of Rana was old. Old and musty and tucked into old foothills in northern Oregon. If it had been built in the desert, it would surely have been a ghost town by now. This school was one of the newer constructions, and it had been built seventy years ago. Sure there’d been renovations in the nineties, but the 50’s architecture had remained unchanged. Aradia sighed. Nothing ever changed. She got up and made her way through to the parking lot. She wanted to be there when Terezi and Jade arrived. 

She was sitting on the yard behind the school when Jade’s car pulled up. Her and Terezi got out of the car and started walking towards her.

“Aradia?” Jade was looking around, everywhere but where Aradia was sitting.

“Hey! I’m over here.” Aradia stood up, “Th-”

“ _ Aradia?”  _ Terezi had started to walk past her. “Do you think she’s inside?” 

“Maybe, I’ll ask her.” Jade shrugged and pulled out her phone. 

“Guys I’m right  _ here _ .” Aradia ran in front of Jade, but Jade didn’t say anything. 

Aradia’s phone vibrated. 

  
gardenGnostic: hey aradia

gardenGnostic: where at Derse High are you exactly?

apocalypseArisen: right in fr0nt 0f y0u!!

Jade looked up, frowned, and then replied

gardenGnostic: um aradia i hate to break this to you… 

gardenGnostic: but you arent :(

“Are you blind or something? Yes I am!” 

gardenGnostic: are you in the school?

apocalypseArisen: n0!!!

“Well?” Terezi asked. 

“She says that she’s right in front of me? But she’s not. And also she says she isn’t in the school.”

“What the fuck, Aradia.” Terezi frowned. “Should we go inside anyway? Maybe it’s some weird prank.”

“Since when does Aradia do pranks?” Jade laughed, already walking towards the school. “I guess it’s worth a shot though!”

apocalypseArisen: terezi i am n0t in the sch00l!!

apocalypseArisen: im right here!

gallowsCalibrator: Y34H 4ND 1M TH3 B3ST 4ND MOST W3LL KNOWN SK4T3BO4RD3R

gallowsCalibrator: 4CTU4LLY TH4T SOUNDS FUN 1LL G3T B4CK TO YOU ON TH4T

gallowsCalibrator: BUT S3R1OUSLY 4R4DI4 NOT FUNNY 

Aradia ran in front of Terezi and grabbed her by the shoulders, but Terezi didn’t seem to notice at all, and just kept walking. Through her hands. Through  _ her.  _ God, that felt weird. It was a weird kind of nausea, like someone had rubbed icy hot on her intestines. Somewhere in between the shock of her friend walking through her _ , _ and the terrible sensation that came with it, a healthy splash of dread spilled over her mind like a bucket of ice water. Terezi had just walked through her. How had Terezi just walked  _ through _ her? 

Terezi and Jade looked through as much of the school that was accessible, texting her angrily at first and then panicked later. Aradia tried over and over again to tell them where she was and what had happened but it was useless. They didn’t believe her. They drove off and Aradia tried to follow them but the car wouldn’t hold her and she couldn’t run. She collapsed when the trees turned into rocky soil and woke back up in the clearing again. Alone. 

At first, she scream-cried until her throat hurt and curled up next to a tall, comforting,  _ dry _ tree. She tried to tell her friends what was going on but the messages her friends sent her turned from confused to malicious as they seemed to believe she was a random person who had stolen her phone. Sollux hadn’t texted her back, or texted her at all. 

Aradia drifted through the rotting woods and the school. She had given up trying to convince her friends that she was herself, and she watched as missing posters were tacked up outside the school, a year-old picture of herself grinning at passerby. She tore them down whenever she could. 

Whenever she tried to walk back to town, she would get dizzy and drowsy and wake up in the clearing with no recollection of falling asleep. 


	4. I Was Cold, and You Weren't There to Warm Me Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sollux had never seen such bullshit before.

Aradia Megido was dead. Aradia Megido was  _ gone. _ For real, this time. Everyone thought Sollux killed her, no matter how many times he told them what happened. It was like talking to a wall. His friends thought he’d lost it, that she’d run away, and he’d made something up to cope. That’s what they told him, at least. He knew they probably blamed him just like everyone else. He knew it was his fault, just not in the way that everyone was saying it was. He knew what he saw. 

Rana was a small town, and there was never anything so interesting as a missing persons case. So when it came out that they were presuming her dead, and Sollux Captor (Yes, Psi’s boy, can you believe it? The one with the  _ behavior issues _ \- no not the older one, he’s in college. The kid- yes, him!) was the last one who’d seen her, they went rabid. 

It was horrible. The newspaper hurt to read. He knew he didn’t have many friends and was widely regarded as an asshole, but it turned out a lot of his classmates just straight up  _ hated  _ him. So much so that the press was easily able to spin his character as a secretly deranged and bloodthirsty killer with their quotes and interviews. He was used to people not knowing what his bipolar was actually like, but the way it was reported, you’d think he went on a killing spree with every manic episode. 

There wasn’t actually enough evidence to convict Sollux of anything, but he had been held in the police station overnight anyway. When he was let out in the morning, Rose was already there with her car to drive back to the clearing.

She hadn’t been particularly close with him before Aradia was gone, but since that night when he’d called her scared out of his mind because she was the first person who came to mind, she’d been hanging around more often. He got the feeling that she was watching him, like some weird kind of case study or something. She probably was. 

They had searched the forest the night Aradia’d vanished, but he’d been a mess and it was too dark to make anything out clearly. They’d come back the morning after, to see if maybe she was hidden somewhere deep in the trees and found nothing. On their third time in the clearing in forty-eight hours, they were kicked out by police. Why on earth had they picked now to be capable?

The drive back from the clearing was uncomfortable, but not in a silently awkward kind of way. Rose had decided that now was the best time to interrogate him, again. 

“So what  _ exactly  _ happened? I know you said she disappeared but what did it look like? Did she fade? Was it sudden? Did she look like she was collapsing?” Her questions turned into daggers in the air, that pushed in under Sollux’s ribcage and pressed against his lungs. He leaned forwards and let his forehead fall onto the dashboard. 

“Wow, you’re really giving me time to mourn here.” His voice was muffled and broken and he hated it. “My best friend fucking died, if you didn’t get the memo.”

There were a few seconds of silence, and then Rose’s voice came back, slower. Quieter. 

“Sorry. I don’t want to make you more upset. But I do think something’s up.” She paused for a noticeably long period of time. “I think she’s still in the forest- just not in a way where she’s exactly tangible.”

Sollux turned his head to face her. Yeah, whatever dust particles she’d left behind certainly weren’t big enough to be tangible.

“The fuck, Rose. I know you have a weird sense of humor or something but this is way past every line in existence.”

“I’m serious! What you said last night didn’t make much sense at first, but I thought about it for a while and I think this might have something to do with the whole nineteen-seventy-seven thing.”

Sollux returned to burying his face in the dashboard. 

“Of course you buy into those conspiracy theories. It was the seventies, it was probably some serial killer or something.”

“You really think there was a serial killer in backwoods Oregon? Don’t you think if it was a serial killer the police would’ve found the bodies? Nothing ever happens in Rana. The police probably had as much of a hay day back then as they’re having now, and probably even more so. Twelve people disappearing over the course of half a year is unheard of here.” 

Sollux sat up.

“I’m not definitively saying it was a serial killer, I’m just saying it’s probably not whatever the most recent braindead theory is, and it’s fucking rude to drag AA into it.”

“I apologize, I’m not trying to be disrespectful. I just think that it’s a possibility.”

“Didn’t come off that way.”

The rest of the way back, they said nothing. Just watched the trees slowly fade out and Rana grow closer.

Rose’s car slowed to a stop in front of Sollux’s house. He and his family lived on top of their store- it had been an internet café when those had still been a thing, but nowadays it was just a tech repair shop. He got out of the car, and muttered a goodbye to Rose. Before he could shut the door, she spoke up.

“If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to call me, okay? Dave as well. I’m sure he’d love to hear from you.”

Sollux nodded. Everyone kept saying that. He didn’t even know what he needed, and he wasn’t about to come crying to Rose of all people, especially after today. 

“Well, bye,” Rose said. She reached over to close the door and drove off.

Sollux’s home was quiet and still. The dull thrum of the air conditioner supplied a calming white noise. The shop was closed today, and his dad was probably out. Mituna’s door was closed, and there wasn’t any loud music pounding at Sollux’s eardrums at the moment. He was home alone. 

He grabbed a bag of doritos from the kitchen and made his way to his room. It was exactly how he’d left it two days ago, and it was weird to see such a familiar thing when something so fundamental about his life had changed. 

_ Fuck.  _ What are you supposed to do when something like that happens? 

Sollux popped open the doritos and stared into the bag. He wasn’t even hungry. Why had he picked it up? The chips inside offered no insight into this matter. They just sat there, pointy and covered in fake cheese. He put the bag down on his desk and fell into his bed. He’d eat them later, he told himself. 

As it turned out, Sollux did not eat the chips. He got caught up in research, looking into the 1977 disappearances. What Rose had said stuck with him, no matter how hard he tried to ignore it. If there was any chance she was still alive somehow, he had to find it. He didn’t find much. There were a few forum posts, talking about different conspiracy theories, and a website that had the police report, as well as most of the newspaper articles that were talking about it. Most of it he already knew. It was local history, and you simply couldn’t live in Rana for more than a year and not know anything about it. 

When Sollux was a kid, the information conveyed itself through the form of schoolyard rumors. The kids had been taken by a witch for potion ingredients, or they’d been swallowed up by a magic portal, or they’d been kidnapped by the Forest Man- a frightening creature made of tree branches and dirt who might have been human once, but whatever trace of humanity he once had was stripped away until all that was left was hunger. That last one used to scare him, before he stopped believing in fairy tales and knew that the trees groaned not out of hunger, but because the wind was pushing them. 

No matter what the answer people had for them disappearing was, the main details were the same. Twelve kids, aged from nine to seventeen, had gone missing in the latter half of 1977. They had  _ nothing  _ in common, other than at some point, they’d gone for a walk in the woods and never come back. There was really only one detail that had the potential to give any information at all: a couple of the kids hadn’t been alone, and the people they’d been with all said around the same thing, in varying levels of hysteria and cynicism- that their friend was gone, and even if they were alive there was no way they were coming back. None of them were able to quite describe what happened in any level of detail though, and the general public put it down as shock. Clearly whatever happened was horrible and final, that’s all there was too it. The “missing” status was just a formality.

It was a natural breeding ground for all sorts of rumors and theories. The ones that Sollux was most interested in, though, were the ones that claimed the kids were still out there, like Rose had been talking about. There were a few of them.

One said that they’d been claimed by some kind of deity or entity, and no longer existed within “our comprehension”. The rest were mostly variants on an Alice in Wonderland type scenario, where they’d somehow stumbled into some interdimensional rabbit hole. All of them were completely bogus. 


End file.
